I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
