It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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