it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
