Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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