Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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