I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
they're like a gay fantastic four
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
