Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
