Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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