You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
