i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im drinking this country out of the recession.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
