I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
