everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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