the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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