My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is the high leading the old right now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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