it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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