Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
