Nicole vs. Life
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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