So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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