His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
