Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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