Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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