You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
