I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
