Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
