that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
