So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
