piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
