and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All the doctor said was why
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
