Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
