how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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