Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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