I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
