try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
