I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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