Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if only i could text you this smell
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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