I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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