Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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