But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
