Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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