I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Life is so much better after having sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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