can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
