so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
