Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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