Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My Sexting was not on an AP level
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
