Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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