But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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