its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
