Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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