I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
