you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
