Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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