I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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