I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
