When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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