never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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