Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
