Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
