can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
