hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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