I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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