Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
