so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
