Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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