Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
